Words that Have Built In Failure-Traps

This is just a short piece about self talk and a couple of words and phrases that open the door wide for slipping into failure mode. The first one is "should have". This is probably the most futile, failure oriented self talk. I should have....... It is a blatant admission of self-failure with no possibility of correction, leads right into giant pity parties and wallowing around in self-destructive thinking. The past is gone, you can't change it so why allow yourself to create misery while dwelling on what you should have done? Here is a brief revision of how you can word it instead. "The last time I ...... ,I did......, and it didn't work out too well. So in the future, I will remember to........" Better huh? Productive thinking producing change.

The other one that is self-defeating is the word "try". "I'm going to try to relax". Bad. There is failure inherent in that word. You don't say to yourself "I am going to try to walk out to the kitchen and get my tea", you just make the decision to go get your tea and do it, unless of course you have trouble moving around independently. So, rather than inserting that word that allows failure, get rid of it. "I am relaxing". Positive, doing it, it's happening. You might not have whatever it is perfected but at least you are actually doing it, not trying to do it. See the difference?
So, I am going to try.... Whoops.... I am getting rid of these words in my self-talk vocabulary, strike them out, gone.